Friday, September 26, 2008

If TITANIC is made in INDIA!!!

There would be 10 times as many people on the ship.

There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain.

The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya".

Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die on the first dip.

The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson.

None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.

And last but not least

Half of the rescue boats would be reserved for SC/ST/OBC.

A Mathematician's Love Letter!!!

De-Morgan's Law,

Binomial Avenue,
United States of Matrices.

My Dear Love,

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane.

There I saw your cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes,standing in your triangular garden.

Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.

The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.

I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.

You are as essential to me as an element to a set.

The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.

My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.

With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown

function.

Yours ever loving,

Pythagoras

Perspective!!!

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was thetrip?'

'It was great, Dad.'

'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked.

'Oh yeah,' said the son.'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father.

The son answered:

'I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.'

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

'Life is too short and friends are too few.'

Perspective!!!

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York, he sees a little girl being attacked by a bull dog.

He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says:
You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"

The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!"

"Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" - the policeman answers.

"But I am not an American!" - says the man.

Oh, what are you then?

The man says: - "I am a Iraqi!"

The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog, Connections to terrorist networks are being explored"