Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.
Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.
Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.
Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Work Telephones !!!
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting... on a Saturday morning... after breakfast...
Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.
Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.
Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.
Maid: So - what is the problem? We all use our work telephones !!!!!
Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.
Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.
Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.
Maid: So - what is the problem? We all use our work telephones !!!!!
Men are Priceless !!!
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, 'While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.'
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, 'While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.'
Why Constant Worry is Useless!!!
We live in a culture where everyone seems to worry. Turn on the news – someone got shot, there’s mercury in the fish we eat, the cows have got BSE, a new super-flu is coming, terrorists are regrouping... on and on it goes.
If you take all of this stuff seriously, it’s likely that you’ll never go out, never eat, never travel, or never take any kind of risk at all. But in fact, worry makes no sense at all.
Here are some reasons why worry really is a pointless and damaging activity, though I suspect we all know this deep down.
Things never happen the way you imagine. When you worry, you are predicting the future. You are saying ‘I know that things will turn out badly.’ But this just isn’t the case. You have no idea how the future is going to turn out, except to say that it will not be what you think it will be. So why worry?
Worry means you give away your power.Some people are so entrenched in worry that they cannot see any other way to live. But worry robs you of your power to be proactive. The truth is that you are in control and you can choose how to react to situations, so why choose to give that power away so easily and so unconsciously?
Worrying is completely unproductive.Why waste your energy doing something that gets you nowhere. On a treadmill, at least you get some exercise, but worry is a truly pointless activity. Spend your time and energy on something more useful.
Worry distorts reality.We live in an age where people live longer, have better access to health care, have more opportunity for personal and professional growth, more chance to travel, greater access to information and lifelong education, and many other wonderful things. Yes, there are risks and potential dangers, but worry magnifies these disproportionately and blinds us to the wonders of our age.
Worrying is bad for your health.Worry is not a normal state of mind and it adversely affects your health, even your physical health. When you worry, physical changes are happening in your body which are very damaging. It increases stress which can increase blood pressure, cause higher levels of stomach acid, cause muscle tension and headaches, among many other things.
Worry is not natural.Do little children worry? Do animals worry? Do all adults worry? There is nothing inherent in being human that means you have to worry. Worry is a pathology, a distortion of our natural, healthy state.
Do you know the most frequent instruction given in the Bible? Surprisingly, it is not ‘love one another’ or ‘love God’ or anything like that. It is simple ‘do not be afraid.’ I don’t know how many times it appears, but I’ve seen estimates between 100 and 366 times. You don’t have to be religious to realize that this is good advice.
So how can we break out of this worry habit? Like all habits, it might not be easy to do, but there are some clear, simple and effective steps you can take to eliminate worry from your life.
Realize that you are in control.In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey tells us that the first step to a better life is the realization that we are free to choose how to react to circumstances. Worry is a choice – it’s inside our own head and, as such, it is within the sphere of our own influence.
Recognize that worry is a habit.Like all habits, there is a momentum to worry, and it might not be easy to break away from this, especially if you’ve been a worrier all your life. But it’s possible to change any habit.
Keep things in perspective.E. Joseph Crossman said, ‘If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.’ Are you still worrying about those things? Will all this stuff matter in 100 years from now?
Face your fears.Nelson DeMille said that ‘Somehow our devils are never quite what we expect when we meet them face to face.’ After you do something that scares you, you’ll probably find it wasn’t as bad as you thought. With time, all your worry will dissipate.
Stop trying to be in control of everything.You cannot control the whole world. Things happen that are truly outside our circle of influence, and so we need to relax and accept that sometimes things just happen as they will. This is part of life, and worry will not change it one little bit.
Stop taking yourself so seriously.If you fail, so what? If you screw up, is it the end of the world? Are you really so important that the world will stop turning if you get things wrong? Life is not that serious.
Worry is a dangerous and poisonous thing. You must not let it eat away at you.Finally, one of my favorite quotes from Mark Twain. ‘I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.’
PS : Nice article from http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/12/why-worry.html
If you take all of this stuff seriously, it’s likely that you’ll never go out, never eat, never travel, or never take any kind of risk at all. But in fact, worry makes no sense at all.
Here are some reasons why worry really is a pointless and damaging activity, though I suspect we all know this deep down.
Things never happen the way you imagine. When you worry, you are predicting the future. You are saying ‘I know that things will turn out badly.’ But this just isn’t the case. You have no idea how the future is going to turn out, except to say that it will not be what you think it will be. So why worry?
Worry means you give away your power.Some people are so entrenched in worry that they cannot see any other way to live. But worry robs you of your power to be proactive. The truth is that you are in control and you can choose how to react to situations, so why choose to give that power away so easily and so unconsciously?
Worrying is completely unproductive.Why waste your energy doing something that gets you nowhere. On a treadmill, at least you get some exercise, but worry is a truly pointless activity. Spend your time and energy on something more useful.
Worry distorts reality.We live in an age where people live longer, have better access to health care, have more opportunity for personal and professional growth, more chance to travel, greater access to information and lifelong education, and many other wonderful things. Yes, there are risks and potential dangers, but worry magnifies these disproportionately and blinds us to the wonders of our age.
Worrying is bad for your health.Worry is not a normal state of mind and it adversely affects your health, even your physical health. When you worry, physical changes are happening in your body which are very damaging. It increases stress which can increase blood pressure, cause higher levels of stomach acid, cause muscle tension and headaches, among many other things.
Worry is not natural.Do little children worry? Do animals worry? Do all adults worry? There is nothing inherent in being human that means you have to worry. Worry is a pathology, a distortion of our natural, healthy state.
Do you know the most frequent instruction given in the Bible? Surprisingly, it is not ‘love one another’ or ‘love God’ or anything like that. It is simple ‘do not be afraid.’ I don’t know how many times it appears, but I’ve seen estimates between 100 and 366 times. You don’t have to be religious to realize that this is good advice.
So how can we break out of this worry habit? Like all habits, it might not be easy to do, but there are some clear, simple and effective steps you can take to eliminate worry from your life.
Realize that you are in control.In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey tells us that the first step to a better life is the realization that we are free to choose how to react to circumstances. Worry is a choice – it’s inside our own head and, as such, it is within the sphere of our own influence.
Recognize that worry is a habit.Like all habits, there is a momentum to worry, and it might not be easy to break away from this, especially if you’ve been a worrier all your life. But it’s possible to change any habit.
Keep things in perspective.E. Joseph Crossman said, ‘If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.’ Are you still worrying about those things? Will all this stuff matter in 100 years from now?
Face your fears.Nelson DeMille said that ‘Somehow our devils are never quite what we expect when we meet them face to face.’ After you do something that scares you, you’ll probably find it wasn’t as bad as you thought. With time, all your worry will dissipate.
Stop trying to be in control of everything.You cannot control the whole world. Things happen that are truly outside our circle of influence, and so we need to relax and accept that sometimes things just happen as they will. This is part of life, and worry will not change it one little bit.
Stop taking yourself so seriously.If you fail, so what? If you screw up, is it the end of the world? Are you really so important that the world will stop turning if you get things wrong? Life is not that serious.
Worry is a dangerous and poisonous thing. You must not let it eat away at you.Finally, one of my favorite quotes from Mark Twain. ‘I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.’
PS : Nice article from http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/12/why-worry.html
Friday, September 26, 2008
If TITANIC is made in INDIA!!!
There would be 10 times as many people on the ship.
There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain.
The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya".
Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die on the first dip.
The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson.
None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.
And last but not least
Half of the rescue boats would be reserved for SC/ST/OBC.
There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain.
The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya".
Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die on the first dip.
The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson.
None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.
And last but not least
Half of the rescue boats would be reserved for SC/ST/OBC.
A Mathematician's Love Letter!!!
De-Morgan's Law,
Binomial Avenue,
United States of Matrices.
My Dear Love,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane.
There I saw your cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes,standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.
The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.
I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set.
The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.
My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.
With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown
function.
Yours ever loving,
Pythagoras
Binomial Avenue,
United States of Matrices.
My Dear Love,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane.
There I saw your cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes,standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.
The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity.
I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set.
The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.
My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.
With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown
function.
Yours ever loving,
Pythagoras
Perspective!!!
One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was thetrip?'
'It was great, Dad.'
'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked.
'Oh yeah,' said the son.'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father.
The son answered:
'I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.'
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?
Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
'Life is too short and friends are too few.'
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was thetrip?'
'It was great, Dad.'
'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked.
'Oh yeah,' said the son.'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father.
The son answered:
'I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.'
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?
Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
'Life is too short and friends are too few.'
Perspective!!!
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York, he sees a little girl being attacked by a bull dog.
He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says:
You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"
The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!"
"Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" - the policeman answers.
"But I am not an American!" - says the man.
Oh, what are you then?
The man says: - "I am a Iraqi!"
The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog, Connections to terrorist networks are being explored"
He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says:
You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"
The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!"
"Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" - the policeman answers.
"But I am not an American!" - says the man.
Oh, what are you then?
The man says: - "I am a Iraqi!"
The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog, Connections to terrorist networks are being explored"
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Medical Certificate!!!!
Doctor Certified
Certified that Mr. /Miss ____________ _____ , working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness.
Due to this, he will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week.
Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems.
The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the
gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.
It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as " Come over weekend..", " Let's work on holiday..", " Leave cannot be granted. ." etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.
In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.
Sd/-
Dr. Impatient
Cyber Clinic
Certified that Mr. /Miss ____________ _____ , working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness.
Due to this, he will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week.
Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems.
The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the
gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.
It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as " Come over weekend..", " Let's work on holiday..", " Leave cannot be granted. ." etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.
In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.
Sd/-
Dr. Impatient
Cyber Clinic
Listen and Understand!!!!
A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him,
"If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"
Within a few seconds Arnav replied confidently, "Four!"
The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed.
"Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought.
She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"
Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face. He calculated again on his fingers. But within him he was also searching for the answer that will make the teacher happy. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four..."
The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him loose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked,
"If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?"
Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?"
The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. She wanted to congratulate herself. But one last thing remained. Once again she asked him,
"Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?"
Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!"
The teacher was aghast. "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.
In a voice that was low and hesitating young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag."
Moral : "When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect don't think they are wrong. There maybe an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with a predetermined notion."
"If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"
Within a few seconds Arnav replied confidently, "Four!"
The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed.
"Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought.
She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"
Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face. He calculated again on his fingers. But within him he was also searching for the answer that will make the teacher happy. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four..."
The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him loose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked,
"If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?"
Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?"
The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. She wanted to congratulate herself. But one last thing remained. Once again she asked him,
"Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?"
Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!"
The teacher was aghast. "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.
In a voice that was low and hesitating young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag."
Moral : "When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect don't think they are wrong. There maybe an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with a predetermined notion."
I am Hot!!!
A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to sayone thing. They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.
My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship."
So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house.
The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, " Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!!!!!!!"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.
My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship."
So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house.
The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, " Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!!!!!!!"
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Think like Software Engineer!!!
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a software engineer are travelling in an old Fiat 500 when all of the sudden the car backfires and comes to a halt.
The mechanical engineer says "Ah! It's probably a problem with the valves, or the piston!".
The electrical engineer says "Nonsense! It's most probably a problem with the spark plugs or the battery!".
The software engineer says "How about we all get out of the car, and get back in again, It might work...".
The mechanical engineer says "Ah! It's probably a problem with the valves, or the piston!".
The electrical engineer says "Nonsense! It's most probably a problem with the spark plugs or the battery!".
The software engineer says "How about we all get out of the car, and get back in again, It might work...".
Good One Liner !!!
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter
Why dogs don't marry?
Because they are already leading a dog's life!
What's the diff between mother & wife?
One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter
Why dogs don't marry?
Because they are already leading a dog's life!
What's the diff between mother & wife?
One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?
Think Differently!!!
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet.
He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help."
There were only a few coins in the hat.
A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"
The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."
What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it."
Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?
Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.
He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help."
There were only a few coins in the hat.
A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"
The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."
What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it."
Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?
Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.
God has a Sense of Humour!!
God was in the process of creating the universe.
And he was explaining to his subordinates "Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion."
Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States.
I have blessed them with prosperity and money.
But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension....
And here is Africa.
I have given them beautiful nature.
But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes.
And here is South America.
I have given them lots of forests.
But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests...
So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.
One of the angels asked..."God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?"
God said.......
Ahah...that is the crown piece of all.
"INDIA",My most precious creation.
It has understanding and friendly People.
Sparkling streams and serene mountains.
A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live.
Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold.....
The angel was quite surprised:"But god you said everything should be in balance."
God replied -- "Look at the neighbours I gave them."
And he was explaining to his subordinates "Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion."
Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States.
I have blessed them with prosperity and money.
But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension....
And here is Africa.
I have given them beautiful nature.
But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes.
And here is South America.
I have given them lots of forests.
But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests...
So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.
One of the angels asked..."God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?"
God said.......
Ahah...that is the crown piece of all.
"INDIA",My most precious creation.
It has understanding and friendly People.
Sparkling streams and serene mountains.
A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live.
Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold.....
The angel was quite surprised:"But god you said everything should be in balance."
God replied -- "Look at the neighbours I gave them."
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Wacky Definitions!!!
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death.
Where u are in INDIA????
If you ever get lost in India and want to find out where you are, this is the best way of doing just that.
scenario 1 : two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who s right- you are in Kolkata.
scenario 2 : two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on– that's Mumbai.
scenario 3 : two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace. the first two get together & beat him up- that's Delhi.
scenario 4 : two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch. a guy comes along and quietly opens a chai stall- that's Ahmadabad.
scenario 5 : two guys are fighting and a third guy comes. he writes a software program to solve the issue but the fight does not stop because of a bug in the program.- that s Bangalore.
scenario 6 : two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch. a guy comes along and quietly says "anna, dont fight for all this nonsense". peace comes in- thats Chennai.
scenario 7 : two guys are fighting. both of them take time out and call their friends on mobile. now 50 guys are fighting.- you are in Hyderabad.
scenario 8 : two guys are fighting.,third guys comes try to stop them and get involved and call others too to stop, finally stop them,- you r in Rajasthan.
scenario 9 : two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch. someone calls police. the police come and lathi charge all the people crowded there. someone throws stones at the police. the police throw stones back at the crowd. some people are arrested. damages to the shops nearby. next day, harthal and holiday declared by government ..You are very much in- thiruvananthapuram, the city of Kerala ...
scenario 1 : two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who s right- you are in Kolkata.
scenario 2 : two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on– that's Mumbai.
scenario 3 : two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace. the first two get together & beat him up- that's Delhi.
scenario 4 : two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch. a guy comes along and quietly opens a chai stall- that's Ahmadabad.
scenario 5 : two guys are fighting and a third guy comes. he writes a software program to solve the issue but the fight does not stop because of a bug in the program.- that s Bangalore.
scenario 6 : two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch. a guy comes along and quietly says "anna, dont fight for all this nonsense". peace comes in- thats Chennai.
scenario 7 : two guys are fighting. both of them take time out and call their friends on mobile. now 50 guys are fighting.- you are in Hyderabad.
scenario 8 : two guys are fighting.,third guys comes try to stop them and get involved and call others too to stop, finally stop them,- you r in Rajasthan.
scenario 9 : two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch. someone calls police. the police come and lathi charge all the people crowded there. someone throws stones at the police. the police throw stones back at the crowd. some people are arrested. damages to the shops nearby. next day, harthal and holiday declared by government ..You are very much in- thiruvananthapuram, the city of Kerala ...
Matrimonial ads version
These are Girls profiles taken from a matrimonial website.
Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a Profile description as everything is straight from the heart!
Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home.
I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore ..
if u like me u welcome to my heart...
when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..
Thanksyours Regards Sowmya
~*~(Truly yours)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework(Wut Homework?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life.I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love.I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i.Because i love myself a lot.If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!! (The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am simple girl.I have lot of problem in my life because of my lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL, WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD.THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOYTHEY ARE1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.(all of us are loughing {laughing})
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is too like this he would be called the man of the lamp(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)Infact she doesn ?t know wat she wants ?.. ? A LAMP ? ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome")
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 'completely'?)( Confused ????? )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried.pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes(height of desperation! J )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.(No comments)(Plz ? for gods sake ask somebody ?s help in framing sentence )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hello i am a good charactarised woman.i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ...(but credit cards not accepted..???)(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit s??????? Is there anything like that.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.(Zebra..???)(Gosh!!!!!!!! she knows her heart color)
Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a Profile description as everything is straight from the heart!
Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home.
I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore ..
if u like me u welcome to my heart...
when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..
Thanksyours Regards Sowmya
~*~(Truly yours)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework(Wut Homework?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life.I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love.I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i.Because i love myself a lot.If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!! (The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am simple girl.I have lot of problem in my life because of my lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL, WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD.THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOYTHEY ARE1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.(all of us are loughing {laughing})
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is too like this he would be called the man of the lamp(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)Infact she doesn ?t know wat she wants ?.. ? A LAMP ? ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome")
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 'completely'?)( Confused ????? )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried.pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes(height of desperation! J )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.(No comments)(Plz ? for gods sake ask somebody ?s help in framing sentence )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hello i am a good charactarised woman.i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ...(but credit cards not accepted..???)(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit s??????? Is there anything like that.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.(Zebra..???)(Gosh!!!!!!!! she knows her heart color)
Friday, April 18, 2008
Appraisal - Employee Vs Employer !!!
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary !!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi $ life, we all need $ ome thing mo$t de $perately. I think you $hould be under $tanding of the need $ of u$ worker $ who have given $o much $ upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $ incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply :
Dear NOrman,
I kNO w you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading eco NOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into a NOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You k NOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
Dear Bo$$
In thi $ life, we all need $ ome thing mo$t de $perately. I think you $hould be under $tanding of the need $ of u$ worker $ who have given $o much $ upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $ incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply :
Dear NOrman,
I kNO w you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading eco NOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into a NOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You k NOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
Einstein Riddle - Try it!!!
There are 5 houses in 5 different colors in a row. In each house lives a person with a different nationality. The 5 owners drink a certain type of beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar, and keep a certain pet. No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same beverage.
Other facts:
1. The Brit lives in the red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The green house is on the immediate left of the white house.
5. The green house's owner drinks coffee.
6. The owner who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The owner living in the center house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The owner who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The owner who keeps the horse lives next to the one who smokes Dunhill.
12. The owner who smokes Bluemasters drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The owner who smokes Blends lives next to the one who drinks water.
The question is: WHO OWNS THE FISH?
Other facts:
1. The Brit lives in the red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The green house is on the immediate left of the white house.
5. The green house's owner drinks coffee.
6. The owner who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The owner living in the center house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The owner who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The owner who keeps the horse lives next to the one who smokes Dunhill.
12. The owner who smokes Bluemasters drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The owner who smokes Blends lives next to the one who drinks water.
The question is: WHO OWNS THE FISH?
Engineering vs. Management !!!
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am", replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything you've delayed my trip even more."
The man below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems."
She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am", replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything you've delayed my trip even more."
The man below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems."
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Difference!!!!!
A SOCIALIST:
You have two cows.The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour.
A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows.Your neighbour has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows.Your neighbour has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows,forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbour. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST:You have two cows.The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST:You have two cows.The government seizes both and sells youthe milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:You have two cows.You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows,but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You count them and learn you have 5 cows.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A MEXICAN CORPORATION:You think you have two cows,but you don't know what a cow looks like.You take a nap.
A SWISS CORPORATION:You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you.You charge for storing them for others.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You worship them.
You have two cows.The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour.
A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows.Your neighbour has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows.Your neighbour has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows,forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbour. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST:You have two cows.The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST:You have two cows.The government seizes both and sells youthe milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:You have two cows.You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows,but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You count them and learn you have 5 cows.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A MEXICAN CORPORATION:You think you have two cows,but you don't know what a cow looks like.You take a nap.
A SWISS CORPORATION:You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you.You charge for storing them for others.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You worship them.
HeyMath!!!!
Equation 1:Study = Dont Fail
Equation 2:Dont Study = Fail
Adding equation 1 & 2
Study + Dont Study = Dont Fail + Fail
Taking Study & Fail common,
Study ( 1 + Dont ) = Fail ( 1 + Dont )
Cancel ( 1 + Dont ) on both sides,
STUDY = FAIL !!!
Now tell me why should we waste our time???!!!!!!!!
Equation 2:Dont Study = Fail
Adding equation 1 & 2
Study + Dont Study = Dont Fail + Fail
Taking Study & Fail common,
Study ( 1 + Dont ) = Fail ( 1 + Dont )
Cancel ( 1 + Dont ) on both sides,
STUDY = FAIL !!!
Now tell me why should we waste our time???!!!!!!!!
The cricketers GOD!!!
"Destined to be a great" -Barry Richards.
"He is 99.5 percent perfect. I'd pay to see him" - Viv Richards.
"Don't bowl him bad balls, he hits the good ones for fours" - Michael Kasprowicz.
"It's scary, where the hell do we bowl to him" -Allan Border.
"There is no shame being beaten by such a great player. We didn't lose to Team India. We Lost to Sachin Tendulkar" -Steve Waugh.
"If I've to bowl to Sachin, I'll bowl with my helmet on. He hits the ball so hard" - Dennis Lillee.
"I'd like to see him go out and bat one day with a stump. I tell you he'd do okay" -Greg Chappell.
"Cricketers like Sachin come once in a lifetime and I am privileged he played in my time" - Wasim Akram.
"The pressure on me is nothing as compared to Sachin Tendulkar. Sachin, like God, must never fail. The crowd always expects him to succeed and it is too much pressure on him" -Mark Waugh.
"Everybody gets 15 minutes of fame. But if there's one person I've admired over a 15-year of period, it's definitely Sachin." - Brain Lara
"I'll be going to bed having nightmares of Sachin just running down the wicket and belting me back over the head for six. He was unstoppable. I don't think anyone, apart from Don Bradman, is in the same class as Sachin Tendulkar. He is just an amazing player" -Shane Warne.
"I saw him playing on television and was struck by his technique, so I asked my wife to come look at him. Now I never saw myself play, but I feel that this player is playing much the same as I used to play, and she looked at him on Television and said yes, there is a similarity between the two... his compactness, technique, stroke production... it all seemed to gel" -Sir Donald Bradman.
"In an over I can bowl six different balls. But then Sachin looks at me with a sort of gentle arrogance down the pitch as if to say 'Can you bowl me another one?'" - Adam Hollioke
Sachin is cricket's God? Barry Richards.
You might pitch a ball on the off stump and think you have bowled a good ball and he walks across and hits it for two behind midwicket. His bat looks so heavy but he just waves it arounad like it's a toothpick? -Brett Lee
You have to decide for yourself whether you're bowling well or not. He's going to hit you for fours and sixes anyway? -Micheal Kasprowicz
Technically, you can't fault Sachin. Seam or spin, fast or slow ? nothing is a problem? -Geoffrey Boycott.
His life seems to be a stillness in a frantic world... [When he goes out to bat], it is beyond chaos - it is a frantic appeal by a nation to one man. The people see him as a God... ? Mathew Hayden, on Sachin Tendulkar.
I (Embarrassed laugh) am a normal person who plays cricket. I am nothing more than that? Sachin Tendulkar, on being told of above quote.
"The fact of the matter is that India still need Sachin in a big way. All this talk of the youngsters taking over is very foolish. The reason why Tendulkar is so important for the team is because of his ability to inspire others and make them perform under pressure" - Some day on "Times of India".
Cricket is the religion and sachin is the God Team India without Sachin is like Temple without God.
And, this is the best!!! (A True fan of Sachin carried this Banner in a match..)
"Commit all your crimes when Sachin is batting. They will go unnoticed becauseeven the Lord will be gone to watch his batting!!!."
"He is 99.5 percent perfect. I'd pay to see him" - Viv Richards.
"Don't bowl him bad balls, he hits the good ones for fours" - Michael Kasprowicz.
"It's scary, where the hell do we bowl to him" -Allan Border.
"There is no shame being beaten by such a great player. We didn't lose to Team India. We Lost to Sachin Tendulkar" -Steve Waugh.
"If I've to bowl to Sachin, I'll bowl with my helmet on. He hits the ball so hard" - Dennis Lillee.
"I'd like to see him go out and bat one day with a stump. I tell you he'd do okay" -Greg Chappell.
"Cricketers like Sachin come once in a lifetime and I am privileged he played in my time" - Wasim Akram.
"The pressure on me is nothing as compared to Sachin Tendulkar. Sachin, like God, must never fail. The crowd always expects him to succeed and it is too much pressure on him" -Mark Waugh.
"Everybody gets 15 minutes of fame. But if there's one person I've admired over a 15-year of period, it's definitely Sachin." - Brain Lara
"I'll be going to bed having nightmares of Sachin just running down the wicket and belting me back over the head for six. He was unstoppable. I don't think anyone, apart from Don Bradman, is in the same class as Sachin Tendulkar. He is just an amazing player" -Shane Warne.
"I saw him playing on television and was struck by his technique, so I asked my wife to come look at him. Now I never saw myself play, but I feel that this player is playing much the same as I used to play, and she looked at him on Television and said yes, there is a similarity between the two... his compactness, technique, stroke production... it all seemed to gel" -Sir Donald Bradman.
"In an over I can bowl six different balls. But then Sachin looks at me with a sort of gentle arrogance down the pitch as if to say 'Can you bowl me another one?'" - Adam Hollioke
Sachin is cricket's God? Barry Richards.
You might pitch a ball on the off stump and think you have bowled a good ball and he walks across and hits it for two behind midwicket. His bat looks so heavy but he just waves it arounad like it's a toothpick? -Brett Lee
You have to decide for yourself whether you're bowling well or not. He's going to hit you for fours and sixes anyway? -Micheal Kasprowicz
Technically, you can't fault Sachin. Seam or spin, fast or slow ? nothing is a problem? -Geoffrey Boycott.
His life seems to be a stillness in a frantic world... [When he goes out to bat], it is beyond chaos - it is a frantic appeal by a nation to one man. The people see him as a God... ? Mathew Hayden, on Sachin Tendulkar.
I (Embarrassed laugh) am a normal person who plays cricket. I am nothing more than that? Sachin Tendulkar, on being told of above quote.
"The fact of the matter is that India still need Sachin in a big way. All this talk of the youngsters taking over is very foolish. The reason why Tendulkar is so important for the team is because of his ability to inspire others and make them perform under pressure" - Some day on "Times of India".
Cricket is the religion and sachin is the God Team India without Sachin is like Temple without God.
And, this is the best!!! (A True fan of Sachin carried this Banner in a match..)
"Commit all your crimes when Sachin is batting. They will go unnoticed becauseeven the Lord will be gone to watch his batting!!!."
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
LAPD Vs FBI Vs CIA
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
The President decides to give them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
The President decides to give them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
Letter to god !!!
A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, INDIA, they decided to
forward it to the President of the India as a joke.
The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.
The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money (Rs.50) to a little boy, and he did
not want to spoil the kid.
The little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you note to God, which
read:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it
through the Rashtrapati Bhavan in New Delhi , and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 as tax ... "
Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, INDIA, they decided to
forward it to the President of the India as a joke.
The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.
The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money (Rs.50) to a little boy, and he did
not want to spoil the kid.
The little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you note to God, which
read:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it
through the Rashtrapati Bhavan in New Delhi , and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 as tax ... "
மென்பொருள் கவிதை!!!
எழுந்துவிட்ட அதிகாலை,
எழுப்பிவிட்ட கடிகாரம்,
காத்திருக்கும் கடமை,
இன்னும் உறங்கும் நண்பன்,
சர்க்கரை அதிகமாய் என்று
கேட்டு வாங்கி குடிக்கும் வீட்டு முற்றத்தின் கடை தேநீர்,
இயந்திரம் தந்த இதமான வெந்நீர்,
விரும்பிய இசைபாடும் குருவட்டு,
சுகமாய் பயணிக்க காத்திருக்கும் வாகனம்,
இரவு சந்திப்போமா என்று ஏகத்த்ூடன் காத்திருந்த மெத்தை,
எனக்கென்றே காத்திருக்கும் புத்தம் புது நாள்,
இத்தனை இருந்தும் ஏதோ இழப்பதாய் உணர்வு,
இரவு எப்போது வரும் என்று எங்குகிறேன்,
நாளைய காலையின் விழிப்பிலாவது
தாயின்,"மணி எட்டு ஆச்சு இன்னும் தூக்கத்த பாரு" எனும் குரல் கேட்காதா
என்ற எதிர்பார்ப்போடு......
இங்கனம்,
பாசத்தைக்கூட தவணை முறையில் பெறும்,
மென்பொருள் வல்லுனன்,
(பொருளை தேடுவதில் வாழ்க்கையை தொழைத்த வல்லுனன்)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Change is Everything !!!
"Read it.... Follow it....If U can... (Sorry U CAN!!!)"
No doubt you have heard the old saying, “Change happens”. This is true, change happens every minute of our lives. In fact, one of the best things about life is that no two days are ever the same. Yet for many of us, we have a difficult time dealing with change because we are observers of change, and not participants of change.
Change is often rewarding, exciting and dynamic – for those that are making it happen. How can you take control and shift your life from being merely an observer who has to deal with change happening around him to a participant who is the catalyst for change in their life and others?
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: You can make change happen by simply changing your way of thinking. Don’t believe me? Try this for one week, seven short days, and then come back and read this article again. I think you will be surprised at how you made a shift in your life, but also have helped make a shift in the lives of others around you.
For the next week I want you to put aside every obstacle that gets in your way. Don’t ignore it, but just resolve to deal with it without being frustrated or thinking that it is insurmountable. For the next seven days I want you to approach every problem, challenge and opportunity with a smile and find a creative solution for it. Some of it will be easy, for example if the boss wants to give you a raise (yes, that’s a change!), and some won’t be as easy – you have a project a co-worker dumped on you with only two days to get it done. All I’m asking is that you try.
You are going to discover something happening here. By shifting your way of thinking, you are not becoming a participant of change. Your positive attitude is going to influence not only you, but everyone around you. Your family will notice, you coworkers will notice – even the guy who sells you your morning coffee is likely to notice! You have had a paradigm shift and all it took was for you to approach every situation with a positive attitude. Now let’s take it farther than that – let’s be a participant in change in life all around us.
What is a one-year goal in your life? Don’t have one? Well get one! Think of something you would really like to change in your life within the next year – be it something about you (weight loss, smile more, work out at the gym) or something around you (get a new car, find a job in a field you love). Now here is something that most people don’t know and why so many people fail at making change happen in their life – they try to do it without a shift in the way they think and act. I’m here to tell you right now that you aren’t going to lose weight by eating at McDonald’s every day and you are certainly not going to land that dream job by sitting around waiting for the phone to ring. Everything in your life requires you to be the catalyst of making it happen.
You have to lead the revolution!
So you want to lose weight – who doesn’t? How can you be a participant in making that happen instead of someone who sits around hoping that the magic weight loss fairy comes and visits in the middle of the night? You can start by changing your way of thinking! Are you the type of person who just has to go out with the gang at lunch every day? How about if you put that energy to better use – using that lunch hour to visit the local library, work out at the company gym, or just get outside and explore the city. Believe it or not, this is how you start changing – by modifying your behavior. I guarantee you that if for one month you changed your lunch behavior you would see the weight dropping. Before you know it, CHANGE has happened!
You have the power to generate huge shifts in your life -- whether it is financial, emotional, personal or career wise. Even more, you have the power to help others change as well. When people see you making changes in your thinking or actions and shifting your life in the right direction they naturally want to be a part of that change. You could be the catalyst to creating a change revolution in your own house!
So, now it’s your turn. What are you going to do today, right now, to facilitate a shift in your life? Don’t just nod your head and leave – take some time to write down what you want to do. Change happens – are you going to be part of the revolution?
No doubt you have heard the old saying, “Change happens”. This is true, change happens every minute of our lives. In fact, one of the best things about life is that no two days are ever the same. Yet for many of us, we have a difficult time dealing with change because we are observers of change, and not participants of change.
Change is often rewarding, exciting and dynamic – for those that are making it happen. How can you take control and shift your life from being merely an observer who has to deal with change happening around him to a participant who is the catalyst for change in their life and others?
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: You can make change happen by simply changing your way of thinking. Don’t believe me? Try this for one week, seven short days, and then come back and read this article again. I think you will be surprised at how you made a shift in your life, but also have helped make a shift in the lives of others around you.
For the next week I want you to put aside every obstacle that gets in your way. Don’t ignore it, but just resolve to deal with it without being frustrated or thinking that it is insurmountable. For the next seven days I want you to approach every problem, challenge and opportunity with a smile and find a creative solution for it. Some of it will be easy, for example if the boss wants to give you a raise (yes, that’s a change!), and some won’t be as easy – you have a project a co-worker dumped on you with only two days to get it done. All I’m asking is that you try.
You are going to discover something happening here. By shifting your way of thinking, you are not becoming a participant of change. Your positive attitude is going to influence not only you, but everyone around you. Your family will notice, you coworkers will notice – even the guy who sells you your morning coffee is likely to notice! You have had a paradigm shift and all it took was for you to approach every situation with a positive attitude. Now let’s take it farther than that – let’s be a participant in change in life all around us.
What is a one-year goal in your life? Don’t have one? Well get one! Think of something you would really like to change in your life within the next year – be it something about you (weight loss, smile more, work out at the gym) or something around you (get a new car, find a job in a field you love). Now here is something that most people don’t know and why so many people fail at making change happen in their life – they try to do it without a shift in the way they think and act. I’m here to tell you right now that you aren’t going to lose weight by eating at McDonald’s every day and you are certainly not going to land that dream job by sitting around waiting for the phone to ring. Everything in your life requires you to be the catalyst of making it happen.
You have to lead the revolution!
So you want to lose weight – who doesn’t? How can you be a participant in making that happen instead of someone who sits around hoping that the magic weight loss fairy comes and visits in the middle of the night? You can start by changing your way of thinking! Are you the type of person who just has to go out with the gang at lunch every day? How about if you put that energy to better use – using that lunch hour to visit the local library, work out at the company gym, or just get outside and explore the city. Believe it or not, this is how you start changing – by modifying your behavior. I guarantee you that if for one month you changed your lunch behavior you would see the weight dropping. Before you know it, CHANGE has happened!
You have the power to generate huge shifts in your life -- whether it is financial, emotional, personal or career wise. Even more, you have the power to help others change as well. When people see you making changes in your thinking or actions and shifting your life in the right direction they naturally want to be a part of that change. You could be the catalyst to creating a change revolution in your own house!
So, now it’s your turn. What are you going to do today, right now, to facilitate a shift in your life? Don’t just nod your head and leave – take some time to write down what you want to do. Change happens – are you going to be part of the revolution?
Devoted Wife!!!
A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to his senses, he motioned for her to come near him.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were by my side.
When my business failed, you were by my side.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you were by my side.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What, my dear?" she asked gently.
"You're a goddamn jinx!"
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were by my side.
When my business failed, you were by my side.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you were by my side.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What, my dear?" she asked gently.
"You're a goddamn jinx!"
MEN ARE BETTER FRIENDS !!!
Women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriend?s and none of them confirm that.
Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!
Conclusion of the story: Men are better friends!!!!
Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!
Conclusion of the story: Men are better friends!!!!
Monday, February 25, 2008
Every problem has a solution!!!!
Many years ago in a small Indian village,A farmer had the misfortune Of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.
The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.
He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.
So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter.
He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag.
Then the girl would Have to pick one pebble from the bag.
1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.
He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.
Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her?
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking.
The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.
What would you recommend to the Girl to do?
Well, here is what she did ....
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked."
Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.
Moral : Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't Attempt to think.
The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.
He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.
So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter.
He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag.
Then the girl would Have to pick one pebble from the bag.
1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.
He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.
Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her?
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking.
The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.
What would you recommend to the Girl to do?
Well, here is what she did ....
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked."
Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.
Moral : Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't Attempt to think.
Mischievous Brothers!!!
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it.
If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak
with her boys.
The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"
The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked,"What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time."
"GOD is missing, and they think we did it!"
If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak
with her boys.
The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"
The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked,"What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time."
"GOD is missing, and they think we did it!"
Against Racism !!!!
A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.
Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. "You obviously do not see it then?" she asked. "You placed me next to a black man. I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat."
"Be calm please," the hostess replied.
"Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."
The hostess went away & then came back a few minutes later.
"Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy Class.
I spoke to the captain & he informed me that there is also no seat in Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in First Class."
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued.
"It is not usual for our company to permit someone from Economy Class to sit in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting."
The Hostess turned to the black guy, & said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class."
At that moment, the other passengers, who'd been shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.
This is a true story against racism.
WELL DONE, British Airways!!
Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. "You obviously do not see it then?" she asked. "You placed me next to a black man. I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat."
"Be calm please," the hostess replied.
"Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."
The hostess went away & then came back a few minutes later.
"Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy Class.
I spoke to the captain & he informed me that there is also no seat in Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in First Class."
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued.
"It is not usual for our company to permit someone from Economy Class to sit in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting."
The Hostess turned to the black guy, & said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class."
At that moment, the other passengers, who'd been shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.
This is a true story against racism.
WELL DONE, British Airways!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Things aren't always what they seem!!!
Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.
The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied...
"Things aren't always what they seem".
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel "how could you have let this happen!? The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let their cow die."
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.
"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."
Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should.
Moral : If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later.
The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied...
"Things aren't always what they seem".
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel "how could you have let this happen!? The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let their cow die."
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.
"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."
Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should.
Moral : If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later.
How about your future???
Some years ago, three brothers left the farm to work in the city. They were all hired by the same company at the same pay. Three years later, Jim was being paid $500 a month, Frank was receiving $1,000, but George was now making $1,500.
Their father decided to visit the employer. He listened to the confused father and said, "I will let the boys explain for themselves."
Jim was summoned to the supervisor's office and was told, "Jim, I understand the Far East Importers has just brought in a large transport plane loaded with Japanese import goods. Will you please go over to the airport and get a cargo inventory?"
Three minutes later, Jim returned to the office. "The cargo was one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," Jim reported. "I got the information over the telephone from a member of the crew."
When Jim left, Frank, the $1,000 a month brother, was called. "Frank," said the supervisor, "I wish you'd go out to the airport and get an inventory of the cargo plane which was just brought in by Far East Importers."
An hour later, Frank was back in the office with a list showing that the plane carried 1,000 bolts of Japanese silk, 500 transistor radios, and 1,000 hand painted bamboo trays.
George, the $1,500 a month brother, was given identical instructions. Working hours were over when he finally returned.
"The transport plane carried one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," he began. "It was on sale at sixty dollars a bolt, so I took a two-day option on the whole lot.I have wired a designer in New York offering the silk at seventy-five dollars a bolt. I expect to have the order tomorrow. I also found five hundred transistor radios, which I sold over the telephone at a profit of $2.30 each.
There were a thousand bamboo trays, but they were of poor quality, so I didn't try to do anything with them."
When George left the office, the employer smiled. "You probably noticed," he said, "that Jim doesn't do what he's told, Frank does only what he'd told, but George does without being told."
Moral : The future is full of promise for one who shows initiative.
Their father decided to visit the employer. He listened to the confused father and said, "I will let the boys explain for themselves."
Jim was summoned to the supervisor's office and was told, "Jim, I understand the Far East Importers has just brought in a large transport plane loaded with Japanese import goods. Will you please go over to the airport and get a cargo inventory?"
Three minutes later, Jim returned to the office. "The cargo was one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," Jim reported. "I got the information over the telephone from a member of the crew."
When Jim left, Frank, the $1,000 a month brother, was called. "Frank," said the supervisor, "I wish you'd go out to the airport and get an inventory of the cargo plane which was just brought in by Far East Importers."
An hour later, Frank was back in the office with a list showing that the plane carried 1,000 bolts of Japanese silk, 500 transistor radios, and 1,000 hand painted bamboo trays.
George, the $1,500 a month brother, was given identical instructions. Working hours were over when he finally returned.
"The transport plane carried one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," he began. "It was on sale at sixty dollars a bolt, so I took a two-day option on the whole lot.I have wired a designer in New York offering the silk at seventy-five dollars a bolt. I expect to have the order tomorrow. I also found five hundred transistor radios, which I sold over the telephone at a profit of $2.30 each.
There were a thousand bamboo trays, but they were of poor quality, so I didn't try to do anything with them."
When George left the office, the employer smiled. "You probably noticed," he said, "that Jim doesn't do what he's told, Frank does only what he'd told, but George does without being told."
Moral : The future is full of promise for one who shows initiative.
TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA !!!
1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans.: Business.
Tax: PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans.: Selling the Goods.
Tax: PAY SALES TAX!!
3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans.: From other State/Abroad
Tax: PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!
4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans.: Profit.
Tax: PAY INCOME TAX!
5) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans.: Factory.
Tax: PAY EXCISE DUTY!
6) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!
7) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!
8) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY TURNOVER TAX!
9) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans.: Yes, for Salary.
Tax: PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!
10) Qus. : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans.: Hotel
Tax: PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
11) Qus. : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!
12) Qus. : Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans.: Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!
13) Qus. : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans.: Gift on birthday.
Tax: PAY GIFT TAX!
14) Qus. : Do you have any Wealth?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY WEALTH TAX!
15) Qus. : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans.: Cinema or Resort.
Tax: PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
16) Qus. : Have you purchased House?
Ans.: Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !
17) Qus. : How you Travel?
Ans.: Bus
Tax: PAY SURCHARGE!
18) Qus. : Any Additional Tax?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!
19) Qus. : Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY INTEREST & PENALTY
Ans.: Business.
Tax: PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans.: Selling the Goods.
Tax: PAY SALES TAX!!
3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans.: From other State/Abroad
Tax: PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!
4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans.: Profit.
Tax: PAY INCOME TAX!
5) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans.: Factory.
Tax: PAY EXCISE DUTY!
6) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!
7) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!
8) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY TURNOVER TAX!
9) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans.: Yes, for Salary.
Tax: PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!
10) Qus. : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans.: Hotel
Tax: PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
11) Qus. : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!
12) Qus. : Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans.: Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!
13) Qus. : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans.: Gift on birthday.
Tax: PAY GIFT TAX!
14) Qus. : Do you have any Wealth?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY WEALTH TAX!
15) Qus. : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans.: Cinema or Resort.
Tax: PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
16) Qus. : Have you purchased House?
Ans.: Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !
17) Qus. : How you Travel?
Ans.: Bus
Tax: PAY SURCHARGE!
18) Qus. : Any Additional Tax?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!
19) Qus. : Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY INTEREST & PENALTY
Monday, January 28, 2008
what to do ??? where to do???
Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed?
The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine.
Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster.
He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work.
He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.
Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do.
After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer.
He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life.
He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer .. $ 2.00
Knowing where to ......... $ 9998.00
Moral: Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.
The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine.
Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster.
He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work.
He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.
Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do.
After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer.
He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life.
He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer .. $ 2.00
Knowing where to ......... $ 9998.00
Moral: Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.
Jokes
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can takethis train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was acommotion in the gallery.The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order,order."The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'llhave a scotch and soda."
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things'.
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in thefield"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football andthe game went into extra time.
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can takethis train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was acommotion in the gallery.The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order,order."The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'llhave a scotch and soda."
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things'.
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in thefield"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football andthe game went into extra time.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Nice Mail - For IT People in India
It's half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on...
PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing...
And who's at work?
Most of them ???
Take a closer look...
All or most specimens are ??
Something male species of the human race...
Look closer... again all or most of them are bachelors...
And why are they sitting late?
Working hard?
No way!!!
Any guesses???
Let's ask one of them...
Here's what he says... "What's there 2 do after going home...Here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee that is why I am working late...Importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!"
This is the scene in most research centers and software companies and other off-shore offices.Bachelors "Time-passing" during late hours in the office just bcoz they say they've nothing else to do...
Now what r the consequences...
"Working" (for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.With bosses more than eager to provide support to those "working" late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback, (oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!).
They aren't helping things too...
To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between "sitting" late and "working" late!!!
Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.
So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family... office is no longer a priority, family is... and
That's when the problem starts... b'coz u start having commitments at home too.For your boss, the earlier "hardworking" guy suddenly seems to become a "early leaver" even if u leave an hour after regular time... after doing the same amount of work.
People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers...
Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labeled as "not up to it".
All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on "working" not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they wuld have to regret at one point of time.
*So what's the moral of the story??
** Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
*Never put in extra time " *unless really needed *"
* Don't stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.
There are hundred other things to do in the evening..
Learn music...
Learn a foreign language...
Try a sport... TT, cricket.........
Importantly Get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town...
* And for heaven's sake net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.
Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *"Life's calling, where are you??"*
Please pass on this message to all those colleagues And please do it before leaving time, don't stay back till midnight to forward this!!!
IT'S A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FOR LONG HOURS MEANS VERY HARD WORKING & 100% COMMITMENT ETC.
PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DONT KNOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME. SIMPLE !
PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing...
And who's at work?
Most of them ???
Take a closer look...
All or most specimens are ??
Something male species of the human race...
Look closer... again all or most of them are bachelors...
And why are they sitting late?
Working hard?
No way!!!
Any guesses???
Let's ask one of them...
Here's what he says... "What's there 2 do after going home...Here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee that is why I am working late...Importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!"
This is the scene in most research centers and software companies and other off-shore offices.Bachelors "Time-passing" during late hours in the office just bcoz they say they've nothing else to do...
Now what r the consequences...
"Working" (for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.With bosses more than eager to provide support to those "working" late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback, (oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!).
They aren't helping things too...
To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between "sitting" late and "working" late!!!
Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.
So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family... office is no longer a priority, family is... and
That's when the problem starts... b'coz u start having commitments at home too.For your boss, the earlier "hardworking" guy suddenly seems to become a "early leaver" even if u leave an hour after regular time... after doing the same amount of work.
People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers...
Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labeled as "not up to it".
All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on "working" not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they wuld have to regret at one point of time.
*So what's the moral of the story??
** Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
*Never put in extra time " *unless really needed *"
* Don't stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.
There are hundred other things to do in the evening..
Learn music...
Learn a foreign language...
Try a sport... TT, cricket.........
Importantly Get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town...
* And for heaven's sake net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.
Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *"Life's calling, where are you??"*
Please pass on this message to all those colleagues And please do it before leaving time, don't stay back till midnight to forward this!!!
IT'S A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FOR LONG HOURS MEANS VERY HARD WORKING & 100% COMMITMENT ETC.
PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DONT KNOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME. SIMPLE !
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