Weakness or Strength?

Sometimes your biggest weakness can become your biggest strength.

Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.

"Sensei," the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?"

"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied.

Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened.

"No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue."

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament.

He was the champion.

On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.

"Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?"

"You won for two reasons," the sensei answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grap your left arm."

The boy's biggest weakness had become his biggest strength.

SOFTWARE GREETINGS

May your software be bug free in the coming days

May you get on-site opportunities as soon as possible

May your PL or PM stop assigning you work on Friday evenings

May your pay be the best among the industry

May you not learn many more languages in the near future

May you get flood of mails and forwards from everybody

and lastly,

May you see a world beyond coding, de-bugging and delivering

Have a nice day !!!

HOMEWORK!!!!!

A little boy was doing his maths homework.

He said to himself,"Two plus five, the son of bitch is seven.Three plus six, the son of bitch is nine..."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in maths?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

Sardarji's MOM - Not an Exception

Sardarji's Mom's Letter

Dear Banta

Vahe Guru !

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'mwriting this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in thenewspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20miles.

I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed heretook the house numbers with them for their new house so they would nothave to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able tobring our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remainsame too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated rightabove the commode. I'm not sure it works. Last week I put in 3 shirts,pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. Thefirst time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a littletoo heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut themoff and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting thegrass at the cemetery.
By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is reallybadmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in thisclub. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is agirl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull himout, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and heburned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill hisfather's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea after hedied. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave forhis father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time Irealized, I had already sealed off this letter.

Sardar "The Exceptional"

Santa Singh went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Santa Singh in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have cancer and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month."

Santa Singh, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character,managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There he saw his son who had beenwaiting.

Santa Singh said, "Puttar, we Surds celebrate when things are good andcelebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer and I've been given a shorttime to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints."

After three or four pints,the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by someof Santa Singh's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating.

Santa Singh told them that the Surds celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends "I've only got few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends gave Santa Singh their condolences and they had a couple more beers. After his friends left, Santa Singh's son leaned over and whispered his confusion, "Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying fromAIDS!"

Santa Singh said, " I am dying from cancer, puttar. I just don't want anyof them around your mother after I'm gone."

Sardarji with a BRAIN !!!!!!

A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:

"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said:

"Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly:

"Please fix two pillows to my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:

"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied.

"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave."

The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it."

And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.

Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!

UMPC - Ultra Mobile PC !!!

>No matter where you are

>No matter how you are travelling

>No matter what you are doing

>You would always be connected, informed, entertained and productive, anytime, anywhere in the world.

juz dont forget to play the videos in the homepage of UMPC.... Excellent!!!!

Microsoft AutoRoute !!!

> Travel with complete confidence

> know what to expect along the way

>Around tow, or across country ,planning the perfect trip is a breeze.

>Always know where exactly you are and where your next turn is.

>compare OnlineMaps and AutoRoute2007

I Have WORK !!!!

Project Manager working in an MNC, as usual after lunchgoes to the cafeteria for coffee.

He relaxes in canteen.He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there.So he decides to have fun with him.He calls him.

Then The Discussion Goes Like This

Project Manager - (Asks canteen boy) : How much do you earn?Canteen boy smiles...

Project Manager - what are your future plans?Canteen boy keeps quiet...

Project Manager - where do you see yourself 10 years down the line?Canteen boy gives a cold stare.

Project Manager – In The Beginning When I came Here (BNGLR)…

I Don't Have Anything…....

And Now…

I Have Everything….Like…Money…Fame…

And What Do U Have ???

Canteen boy – " Sir…..I Have Work "

Project Manager leaves the cafeteria silently....... :-)

No "One can Change destiny !!!!"

During a momentous battle, a Japanese general decided to attack even though his army was greatly outnumbered. He was confident they would win, but his men were filled with doubt.

On the way to the battle, they stopped at a religious shrine. After praying with the men, the general took out a coin and said, "I shall now toss this coin. If it is heads, we shall win. If it is tails we shall lose."

"Destiny will now reveal itself."

He threw the coin into the air and all watched intently as it landed. It was heads. The soldiers were so overjoyed and filled with confidence that they vigorously attacked the enemy and were victorious.

After the battle. a lieutenant remarked to the general, "No one can change destiny."

"Quite right," the general replied as he showed the lieutenant the coin, which had heads on both sides.

Blind Ambition !!!

Charlie Boswell has always been one of my heroes. He has inspired me and thousands of others to rise above circumstances and live our true passion. Charlie was blinded during World War II while rescuing his friend from a tank that was under fire. He was a great athlete before his accident and in a testimony to his talent and determination he decided to try a brand new sport, a sport he never imagined playing, even with his eyesight . . . golf!

Through determination and a deep love for the game he became the National Blind Golf Champion! He won that honor 13 times. One of his heroes was the great golfer Ben Hogan, so it truly was an honor for Charlie to win the Ben Hogan Award in 1958.

Upon meeting Ben Hogan, Charlie was awestruck and stated that he had one wish and it was to have one round of golf with the great Ben Hogan.

Mr. Hogan agreed that playing a round together would be an honor for him as well, as he had heard about all of Charlie's accomplishments and truly admired his skills.

"Would you like to play for money, Mr. Hogan?" blurted out Charlie.

"I can't play you for money, it wouldn't be fair!" said Mr. Hogan.

"Aw, come on, Mr. Hogan...$1,000 per hole!"

"I can't, what would people think of me, taking advantage of you and your circumstance," replied the sighted golfer.

"Chicken, Mr. Hogan?"

"Okay," blurted a frustrated Hogan, "but I am going to play my best!"

"I wouldn't expect anything else," said the confident Boswell.

"You're on Mr. Boswell, you name the time and the place!"

A very self-assured Boswell responded "10 o'clock . . . tonight!"

CHOICE IS YOURS !!!!

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, 'Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live." "Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man.' "I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry.

"She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breathe and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them. 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead." Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

How To Enjoy Work !!!

Maintain Good Relationships with others

# Don't harshly criticize others, even if they deserve it
# Don't take criticism too personally
# Avoid Gossip
# Avoid Arguments with loud and obnoxious people Take Pride in Your Work

Don't Take Your Work Home

Be Detached from the Stress of Your Company

Avoid Gossip

Take your lunch Break away from Work

Don't Feel Guilty for Problems that are not of your Own Making

Spend 10% of Your Time doing something productive for Yourself

This is Why I didnt take up GRE!!

A NORMAL PERSON : People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

GRE STUDENT : Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles.

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NORMAL PERSON : Twinkle, twinkle, little star

GRE STUDENT : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.

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NORMAL PERSON : All that glitters is not gold.

GRE STUDENT : All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

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NORMAL PERSON : Beggars are not choosers

GRE STUDENT : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.

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NORMAL PERSON : Dead men tell no tales

GRE STUDENT : Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony.

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NORMAL PERSON : Beginner's luck

GRE STUDENT : Neophyte's serendipity.

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NORMAL PERSON : A rolling stone gathers no moss

GRE STUDENT : A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.

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NORMAL PERSON : Birds of a feather flock together

GRE STUDENT : Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.

*******************************************************

NORMAL PERSON : Beauty is only skin deep

GRE STUDENT : Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

*******************************************************

NORMAL PERSON : Cleanliness is godliness

GRE STUDENT : Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

*********************************************************

NORMAL PERSON : There's no use crying over spilt milk

GRE STUDENT : It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lactile fluid.

*******************************************************

NORMAL PERSON : You can't try to teach an old dog new tricks

GRE STUDENT : It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.

*******************************************************

NORMAL PERSON : Look before you leap

GRE STUDENT : Surveillance should precede saltation.

*******************************************************

NORMAL PERSON : He who laughs last, laughs best

GRE STUDENT : The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.

*******************************************************

NORMAL PERSON : All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

GRE STUDENT : Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.

*******************************************************

NORMAL PERSON : Where there's smoke, there's fire!

GRE STUDENT : Where there are visible vapours having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.

Small Story BIG Thought!!!

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on.

Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground.

He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next…This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"

The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass ...."

Management Lesson: "Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one."

What it feels like !!!!

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen: "Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

HR Love Proposal !!!!

To,

Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.

Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.

Later, based on your performance,I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,

Romeo

Manager HR

A SWEET KISS FULL LETTER

A letter has been sent from a husband :

Dear Sweetheart ,

I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart.

Your Loving Husband.

His wife replied back after some days to her husband:

Dearest sweetheart,

Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.

2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.

3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.

4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items.

5. Other expenses 40 kisses.

Please don’t worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope that I can complete the month using this balance.

Shall I plan same way for next months, please advise.

Your Sweet Heart.

The Height of Cost Cutting!!!!

Corporate Life vs College Life !!!

NEWTON IN ROMANTIC MOOD..............

Universal Law O f L ove:

" Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money "

First Law Of Love:

" A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love With Her And A Girl In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless Any External Agent(Brother Or Father Of The Gal) Comes Into Play And Break The Legs Of The Boy. "

Second Law O f Love:

" The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The Bank Balance. "

Third Law Of Love:

" The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And Opposite To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping."

Before and After MARRIAGE

***********Before Marriage **************

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.*

She: Do you want me to leave?*

He: NO! Don't even think about it.*

She: Do you love me?*

He: Of course! Over and over!*

She: Have you ever cheated on me?*

He: NO! Why are you even asking?*

She: Will you kiss me?*

He: Every chance I get!*

She: Will you hit me?*

He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!*

She: Can I trust you?*

He: Yes.*

She: Darling!*

*After marriage - - - simply read from bottom to top !! *

Lord Ram & Hanuman on Rama Sethu project!!!

This is full of fun... so i could not highlight few points alone!!!!

The Lord surveyed the Ram Setu and said "Hanuman, you and your vanara sena had built this bridge several centuries back with great diligence and devotion. It is remarkable that it has withstood the ravages of the climatic and geographical changes over centuries. It is indeed an amazing feat especially considering the fact that a bridge at Hyderabad built by Gammon using latest technology collapsed the other day even before they could stick the posters on its pillars."


Hanuman with all humility spoke "Jai Sri Ram, it is all because of your grace. We just scribbled your name on the bricks and threw them in the sea and they held. No steel from TISCO or cement from Ambuja or ACC was ever used. But Lord, why rake up the old issue now?"


Ram spoke "Well, Hanuman some people down there want to demolish the bridge and construct a canal. The contract involves lot of money and lot of money will be made. They will make money on demolition and make more money on construction."


Hanuman bowed down and said "Why don't we go down and present our case?"


Ram said "Times have changed since we were down there. They will ask us to submit age proof and we don't have either a birth certificate or school leaving certificate. We traveled mainly on foot and some times on horseback and so we don't have a driving license either. As far as the address proof is concerned, the fact that I was born at Ayodhya is in itself under litigation for over half a century...If I go in a traditional attire with bow and arrow, the ordinary folks may recognize me but Arjun Singh may take me to be some tribal and, at the most, offer a seat at IIT under the reserved category. Also, a God cannot walk in dressed in a three-piece suit and announce his arrival. It would make even the devotees suspicious. So it is a dilemma to say the least."


"I can vouch for you by saying that I personally built the bridge."


"My dear, Anjani putra, it will not work. They will ask you to produce the lay-out plan, the project details, including financial outlay and how the project cost was met and the completion certificate. Nothing is accepted without documentary evidence in India. You may cough but unless a doctor certifies it, you have no cough. A pensioner may present himself personally but the authorities do not take it as proof. He has to produce a life-certificate to prove that he is alive. It is that complicated."


"Lord, I can't understand these historians. Over the years you have given darshan once every hundred years to saints like Surdas, Tulsidas, Saint Thyagaraja, Jayadeva, Bhadrachala Ramdas and even Sant Tukaram and still they disbelieve your existence and say Ramayana is a myth. The only option, I see, is to re-enact Ramayana on earth and set the government records straight once for all."


Lord smiled "It isn't that easy today. Ravan is apprehensive that he may look like a saint in front of Karunanidhi. I also spoke to his mama Mareecha, who appeared as a golden deer to tempt Sita maiyya when I was in the forest and he said that he won't take a chance of stepping on earth as long as Salman Khan is around!!!"

Why India is Still a developing Country????

The Ant & Grasshopper story explains this...And its true....

Older Version

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.Come winter ,the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Modern Version

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Comes winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath '.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '.

CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley .
100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ...
As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, India is still a developing country!!!

Using the Opportunity to its Best

Musharaf, Manmohan, Aishwarya rai and Sonia are travelling in a train.

The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed.

Musharaf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.


Sonia is thinking:

These Pakistani are all crazy after Aishwarya. Musharaf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.


Aishwarya is thinking:
Musharaf must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.


Musharaf is thinking:
Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya.She might have thought it was me and slapped me.


Manmohan is thinking:
if this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Musharaf again ...

How to identify a Software engineer

1. He/She never bargains… No wonder things have become so costly!

2. When a cab/bus passes by and you see all the commuters in it are sleeping like they haven’t slept for years…

3. Dilbert or Calvin is their favorite cartoon…

4. Words like issues, tracker, raising requests, buzz/ping, compile, delete [unlike erase or rub it off], onsite [n not abroad is what ‘foreign land’ is called] are the ones that would be used by ‘default’…

5. Weekends are holy words… they are like a salvation one seeks for…

6. “Wazzzup”, “Hows life?”, are few obvious questions one will be greeted with which would be immediately followed by “how’s work?”

7. Salaries, work etc are always better or in good shape in other companies than the one he/she is currently in…

8. They don’t send or take things… they always forward them!

9. Drinking coffee is the most pleasurable thing they think they do in the entire day…

10. They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do… When I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes to my mind is “I wish there was a Google search for my room”

11. Mondays are always blue…

12. All of them will have a dream to do something in life and that something would never be what they are doing right now…

GEORGE BUSH and the Clever Kid

BUSH IN PRIMARY SCHOOL

GEORGE BUSH GOES TO A PRIMARY SCHOOL TO TALK ABOUT THE WAR.

AFTER HIS TALK HE OFFERS QUESTION TIME.

ONE LITTLE BOY PUTS UP HIS HAND AND GEORGE ASKS HIM WHAT IS YOUR NAME IS?

"BOB".

AND WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION, BOB?

I HAVE 3 QUESTIONS.

FIRST,WHY DID THE USA INVADE IRAQ WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF THE UN?

SECOND,WHY ARE YOU PRESIDENT WHEN AL GORE GOT MORE VOTES?

AND

THIRD,WHAT HAPPEND TO OSAMA BIN LADEN?

JUST THEN THE BELL RINGS FOR RECESS.

GEORGE BUSH INFORMS THE KIDDIES THAT THEY WILL CONTINUE AFTER RECESS.

WHEN THEY RESUME GEORGE SAY,OK WHERE WERE WE?

OH THAT,S RIGHT....... ...QUESTION TIME.

WHO HAS A QUESTION?

A DIFFERENT LITTLE BOY PUTS UP HIS HAND.

GEORGE POINTS HIM OUT AND ASKS HIM WHAT HIS NAME IS?

"STEVE"

AND WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION STEVE?

I HAVE 5 QUESTIONS.

FIRST,WHY DID THE USA INVADE IRAQ WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF UN?

SECOND,WHY ARE YOU PRESIDENT WHEN AL GORE GOT MORE VOTES?

THIRD,WHAT HAPPENED TO OSAMA BIN LADEN?

FOURTH,WHY DID THE RECESS BELL GO 20 MINUTES EARLY?

AND

FIFTH, WHERE IS "BOB"

Nothing to Lose!!!!

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room.

One candidate is Vella Reddy an Indian (Hyderabadi ) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Reddy turns to the other candidate and says 'ellaa vunnavu babu'The other candidate answers 'baguunanu babu '

Moral : You gain many , when you have the attitude of 'Nothing to lose'.

Investigation on a Plane Crash !!!!

Once in America a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive. Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions. The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.

Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"

Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"

Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"

Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"

Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks"

Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travelers"

Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"

Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating & throwing"

Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"

Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"

Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"

Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Nothing"

Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"

Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the air hostess"

Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!!

No more Questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!